Psych: Why Are there Bad Looking Couples?

Why are there so many bad looking couples? In high school there were enough examples of bad couples to make me bang my head on the walls. A good looking guy with an unnattractively mean girl. A really popular girl with the weirdest dude. It boggled my mind. I still wonder about it.

A recent conversation with a friend revealed to me that girls can change their minds and do change what they want in a guy, often she suggests. One year she was with a model looking guy a few years later she's with the biggest dude I've ever seen. B-I-G, BIG, =).

Physically attractive, intellectually stimulating, being charming all describe ideal traits a great guy should have. However,trying to be  an ideal mate looks to me to be a goal unworthy of your time.
I had a Sim on the game: The Sims that was everything I wanted to be, maxed out intelligence, athletics, cooking ability. . . And the guy could never get a date. It frustrated me, but the lesson was that there's more to human interaction than maxing out your stats, pages read, hours studied, number of bench presses.

In a past relationship, I really tried to be the highest quality of man. I was everything I ever learned to be in regards to being a gentleman, athletic, intelligent, kind, generous, I maxed out my stats so to speak. For whatever reason, the relationship didn't work out. In fact she sought out comfort from lesser males, and I mean, really, really gnarly looking, deadbeats. I couldn't let go of the fact that we looked like a great couple, similar interests, similar values and goals. It just didn't work out, because I wasn't what she wanted.

The final line: don't be drawn in by the seductive practice of finding ideal couples in your life or that of others.

Psych: People Own their Names

I've studied it in psychology, read it in pop culture, and see it everyday. One of my most favorite ideas in understanding people is that the most important word to anyone is their own name. I learned that neat line from "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. He'll go on to suggest that it is the number one thing you must not do is to forget people's names.

I recently forfeited the point that words have power and I doubt there is a more powerful and influential word than a person's name, to them anyway. It grabs someones attention when they are called by their name, it's special, and too often do people just brush by eachother unnoticed. Some of us go through hundreds of such interactions a day, but we really notice when someone uses our name.  

It's no wonder people care so much about their reputation. Their name is intimately tied with their reputation, and a good reputation will provide you with friends, status, and options in life. It's particularly more important for men to build a good name because men are most judged on their status in career and in relationship to other men. That damning line: "It's not what you know, it's who you know" rings loud and clear here. You may be a genius, but if you can't connect with people or if you have a poor reputation, you can't get as far as someone with a good name.

I'll Be Trying Blogging For a Bit

I just started to read Problogger by Darren Rowse and Chris Garrett and decided blogging is something I want to do on the side. No! I'm not selling out! I promise! I just figured that on my facebook page I have about 100 posts over the last couple of years, more since I began a private blog, and I have some things to say I believe can benefit more than the few friends I write for. Why not share my ideas with the world? The good ones.

So I'll commit to writing everyday, well, I already do that. I will allow myself one ad per blog, and my model will be multiple blogs. I already write a lot anyway. My format is digestible, entertaining, and very functional, but be patient as I evolve and my blogs evolve with me. Here we go!

Links:
Problogger.net